an extremely unrealistic film

In 2009 the world was gripped by anancientMayan prophecy The end of the world. It was meant to be close too. Like, 3 years away close. So to celebrate our laughablegullibilityMichael Bay made a film 2012 in which the end of the world prophecy did come true, and the entire world was sort of destroyed. In actual fact the world was completely eradicated of canada goose life, all except for John Cusack, some rich guys, and a scientist who hates everyone because they’re all retarded.

But I’m not here to debate the end of the world If you want to do that you can either a.) canada goose clearance sale leave, or b.) carry on reading, you might actually enjoy yourself.

Shopping in styleOkay, so John Cusack’s arch enemy and his crazy wife are in the supermarket when oh no! buy canada goose jacket cheap the entire floor pulls them away from each other! There was a big death eating super earthquake and it just so happened to go right in between them, leaving them both somewhat unharmed and ironically probably closer together than every before.

But wait! In real life, whilst this sort of phenomena is pretty likely, I’m sure it wouldn’t have gone so flawlessly. Look at the floor in the supermarket, it ripped like paper. It looked like Linoleum which, if so, would have just let them fall into this abyss killing them both, probably slowly whilst they both said sorry for being such douche bags to poor old John Cusack, who celebrates cheap Canada Goose by buying mosquito bite lotion for his ass. Even if the floor was tiled, the cracks would have formed around the tiles, it wouldn’t have just gone straight through them like some kid buy canada goose jacket ripping paper up and making a mess.

canada goose This unrealism just makes the clique more difficult to watch. Damn it Mike! canada goose

canada goose uk black friday Limo’s are invincibleNext John gets back to his ungrateful ex wife and big shot husband, when, again Oh no! The entire world starts to crack and crumble around them! But that’s okay Canada Goose Outlet because John’s hired a plane which’ll take them from LA unharmed. However they have to get their first, jumping through buildings, hitting cars and nearly killing them all a million and one times. canada goose uk black friday

Canada Goose Outlet But wait, Mike pretty much ignores that, no matter how good of a driver John is, a Limo’s chassis is not indestructible, and after the 2nd of 3rd jump the entire thing would be as useful as a Chocolate fireguard, because, you know it’s screwed. Yet it somehow manages to carry on and get it to the airport with only small amounts of damage. Canada Goose Outlet

canada goose uk shop But on it’s journey they just scrape by a high way that’s falling down. But wait a minute, it scrapes canada goose store by, literally only just too. But in real life they wouldn’t have been so fortunate. canada goose uk shop

Canada Goose Parka Planes don’t adhere to natural forcesAlright, so John makes it to the airport, boards a light canada goose coats aircraft and then leaves LA forever, only just being able to make out the pale screams and bitter hate as he leaves everyone of this friends behind proving that a.) he’s not a very good friend and b.) anything is possible if you’re John Cusack. Canada Goose Parka

canadian goose jacket But anyway, off on their journey they go, but they still have to negotiate the city which is falling to pieces, flying between buildings, as well as Subway Cars and crapping themselves through canadian goose jacket the entire ride. canadian goose jacket

canada goose clearance sale But there’s a reason light aircraft are very unreliable and have a poor safety record. They’re not maneuverable. Well they’re not maneuverable enough to avoid buildings and subway cars. In actual fact it’s wings would have been ripped off from the sheer G Forces Canada Goose sale pulling at them. Experts agree that a plane without wings is often useless, and in this case deadly. Apparently though, these things are ignored if you’re name is John. After this sheer canada goose coats on sale case of divine intervention they all look over through the window to see LA sinking like a ship. They probably laughed after too. canada goose clearance sale

RV’s are death proofJump to much later in the film.

Canada Goose Coats On Sale Eventually, after running away from a giant volcano and a mad man John jumps in an RV and speeds away from tonnes of flaming rock falling towards the earth and generally trying to ruin his day. He seems to negotiate it pretty well, that is until a massive chunk of flaming death hits canada goose outlet the back end of his RV, turning it into the worst family holiday since National Lampoons European Vacation. Canada Goose Coats On Sale

But hang on there one fine little second, looking back at what we saw with his indestructible Limo, after maybe one of two minor jumps and crashes, it would have been nothing more than a big tin can. But this RV makes the Limo Canada Goose Jackets look like a big girls blouse. Not only has it managed to survive being a crazy old mans home for the last, probably quarter of a century, it’s also just been hit by a flaming piece of countryside. And yet the chassis is still intact, it even drives quite well for a damaged vehicle and gets him safely to yet another airport. If this film tells us anything, it’s that the structural designers for the film 2012 canada goose clearance should be world safety engineers. I could mention at this point that the plane was too heavy to take off, and that there was no hope of any of them eversurvivingthe horrors of Las Vegas, but that’s another story.

canada goose black friday sale Anyway, at some point, whilst over China, the plane runs out of fuel and needs to land. The pilot gets low enough for them all to get into the lovely cars they had in the back (Tragically, all were destroyed), and reverse out of the plane in a Bentley Continental. canada goose black friday sale

Canada Goose Jackets The Bentley hits the ground, and is pretty much a write off. But all the occupants survive. There is a reason, however, that cars are not designed to fall out of the back erinpsalzer.com of planes, without a parachute or any form of cushioning device. No, the car just falls out. All the other cars? Well as soon as they left the back of the plane they instantly spun and fell to their doom somewhere over China. Canada Goose Jackets

Canada Goose sale But what makes the Bentley so special? I know it’s heavier, but that doesn’t mean jack. In fact it’s surface area is much more than the other smaller sports cars, meaning the amount of drag would have been considerably more, and they would have stood less chance of actually surviving. Canada Goose sale

At this point, I’m going to argue that John Cusack is secretly Superman. Except his powers have no downsides. He’s just seriously insane. It must be. I can think of no other explanation.

canada goose coats I could go onSeriously, I could. The film is filled with so many inaccuracies that it’d take me all night to list every single one of them, so canada goose black friday sale I won’t. canada goose coats

In short, 2012 is awful. The effects aren’t the worst bit though. Nor the ambition ordramatization. No, we’ve come to expect that from Michael Bay.

canada goose factory sale The worst bit is that they tried to give this film a story. Like titanic, the whole “My boyfriend and I are going out but I still like John but he’s mental and at least this guy is normal, but oh wait he’s dead John’ll have to do” is just awful. It’s really, really dreadful. canada goose factory sale

Please, don’t do this Canada Goose online again Mike. Please.

Larry Rankin

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canada goose uk outlet I thought the movie was all right, but yeah, it was silly. If the world goes down, it isn’t going to be like that. The pole shift aspect has been discredited as a thing of fiction canada goose uk outlet.